The start of the freshmen orientation camp...

Every year there are people coming in and out of hall, and every year this is the time when new friendships are created. Freshies begin to flood the common hall at 12pm sharp...can't wait to get to know one another ya? :P Everything runs pretty smoothly for us and I thank God for that! The weather is fine and the games are fun too, except that I don't really get to play as I will have to help out around. Tonight's supper will be my first task for this orientation camp...a time to learn to be a great cook and preparation to be a good housewife???

The hall orientation camp (in short is HAVOC=Hall V Orientation Camp) brought me back to the first time I get to know my OG mates then and friends to go out with for lunch, dinner, supper and the school holiday trips khakis. They are really one bunch of great guys to hang out with and will try to keep you company whenever you feel bored in hall. I was just like the freshies now, too shy to talk around and embarassed to dance with the guys during the mass dance. But I believe soon they will just mingle around like us and bonds will be formed.

Somehow I don't really like my hall life anymore because of numerous things that have happened here. Yet I know I will certainly miss it once I move out of here next year when I graduate. Hall life is certainly a once in the lifetime experience, a time when you learn to be independent from your home sweet home and a time you know the importance of the presence of friends whom God has sent to surround us. Someone told me before: "God loves us and he often send down angels from heaven to surround us with love. These angels are in the form of human being whom we called 'friends'."

One year on and I will be out of here...will a part of my heart stays here too? I don't know yet but I know I certainly need to treasure all the times that I am going to be left with and bring with me the happiest memories back home.

"Everything is beautiful in His time...Amen"

A new journey awaits for me now...& this will mark the start of it...

Left: Pamela's 21st birthday party at Boat Quay Mind's Cafe


Sunday...a day I will enjoy most as it starts off with a great morning rejoicing in God's word. This week praise & worship is led by Reuben Morgan & the whole worship session is fantastic! Sadly, he only sings two of his songs from his album...I would have expected more of it though...haiz...

After the normal service, there is a special ministry for all those who need to be prayed for. Actually I wanted to go there ever yesterday (but I have to go for my friend Yanning's birthday party after). I really need prayers & the strength from the Lord to overcome my own depression for the past few weeks. Many things had happened in my life and it was so hard to forgive myself for except to keep on blaming myself for my own mistakes. But yet I remeber the lyrics of a song that keep ringing in my head :"My Jesus I called your name; You're broken for all my pain..." Everytime I thought about this verse I would tear, really cry whenever I am...who can be more sad than me when I keep on blaming myself for the mistakes I had made? No one but Jesus...

When I go forward to wait to be prayed for, my mind was like a video player, reeling out the scenes of my past...the past that I am so often wished that I could turn back time to change, memories of the black hole that is deep within me...I didn't manifest like many others but I can't stop myself from crying like a baby...how much more pain can I take in my life? Sometimes I wonder why God places some of my friend to be appeared to be at a 'better' life than anyone else, a life that everything will go so smoothly for that person. I do envy them and wonder what can I do to exchange for such life?

But then I remember from what I learn in church is that God have a plan for us even before we were born in this world. No matter what kind of life we are leading, He certainly has his purpose for it to be there in our life, regardless of times of happiness, sadness... We have to have faith in God and good things will certainly happen to us. Doesn't there a quote that says "Good things are worth waiting for?" When I know a chapter of my life is closed now, I look forward to the next chapter and the next one and the next...I am certainly still struggling with certain issues in my life (sorry but I can't share it here) but I know I will move on from now as I know I will never be alone...I know You are always there for me Lord even when I stay away from you... Being strong is never easy but I know I have you by my side and giving me the strength that I need... I love you so much and I will live the way you want me to be from now on...never ever to be apart from you again...

"In your anger do not sin; Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
-- Eph 4:26-27