God you are all I have now...

My mum just left for Hong Kong again. For a period of 8 months this time. I feel so weak now, like being left all alone here by myself. I am going to miss her so much. Haiz... Sometimes I really wish I have a brother or sister to keep me company here. Gonna take care of myself from now onwards...how tough can that be?

I realise "independent" is not a great word to describe people at times. It has 2 meanings: being strong on your own or you are simply too used to being alone taking care of yourself. Right now I am feeling so depressed. I want my mum to stay here with me so much but yet I want her to go back to Hong Kong to company my dad. Sigh...I believe my dad needs her more than I do now. I look upon my Father for strength now, for He shall be bigger than me who is in my heart...so why am I worrying so much now?! Haiz...

If this is God's plan for me to learn and grow, I will obey His will and face this challenge in my life with faith...for I believe His plan is the greatest ever and His love for me never ends. Help me Father and give me the strength that I need so that I will not fall away from You. Coz rainbow never forms during rain nor in the sunlight -- It only appears in the sunlight that comes after the rain...God bless! :)

"There is something that we all should learn: that is to cherish our blessings from God in our lives."

Hammies are cleaned at last! lol

Spent the day studying, watching "The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift" and clean my little babies! lol Haha...pretty happy now and satisfied with all the things that are done today. My little babies always never fail to cheer me up with their little stunts...lol Haha...I thank God for creating such wonderful animals on earth to keep us company. Thank for Brian for he provides me with the original source for these few generations of little hammies to keep company at all times...haha...lol

I watch the Tokyo Drift this afternoon and I think the movie is great! :) In fact, I think it is nicer than the previous two series as I like the car stunt performed in this one: the tokyo drift. Cool...wish I can pick up such skill too...haha...but then I bet my mum will kill me if I ever went to learn for such things...haha...lol

Feeling much better now as God let me see things in a brighter light. True that human will be discouraged and disappointed at times, but then He remind me once again that if it is worth it, don't give up and be persistent to be good. Like seeking Him will let us face many disappointments at times too and we may come to the junctions where we want to give up. But yet we know that God is worth all these persistence from us to seek Him endlessly and hence we should never give up looking for Him, learning about His words and putting Him in our lives. Knowing Him in my life is the greatest blessing. I like the chorus of the song:

"My first love forever you will be.
My first breath you're the life in me.
My first joy the world can never take from me.
My covenant with you, Jesus."

Indeed we've formed a covenant with God when we let Him into our life. He is my love, my breath and my joy. Thank you Father for renewing my mind and my heart once again, for letting me see things clearly and not letting my emotions to take control of me. Thank you Lord...I will always seek for you...

"The secret of the kingdom of God is given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables so that 'they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!'" - Mark 4:11-12

Depressing day

No program for today besides studying in my room and probably clean my clothes and tidy it up a little. Waiting for Shu Hui to come by to put her stuffs in my room...haha...lol Sigh...studying time is coming once again! :P

Feeling down now coz this morning my good friends just told me to meet up for a time that I can't meet. And the thing is that this meeting is initiated by me and I have already told them the reason and the time that I won't be able to meet them. Sad is that I have never seen these two good friends for quite a long time. And I feel hurt that they forgot what I had said and never take into my account if I can make it. Sigh...but I know they don't mean it that way coz one of my friend is super busy too. May God take care of her for me always. :)

I feel hurt my friend's comment. Haha...he speaks his thoughts out with the lesson he learn in church but somehow his words make me ponder about certain lessons in church again. Forgive and forget. Sigh...I wonder if this person can still be my friend now because this is not the first time he ever hurt me with his words. I know he doesn't mean it that way la. It's like I know what he is thinking in his mind yet I wonder why he reacted so differently at times...haha...or I am thinking too much into things again? Haha...being hot and cold are just two opposites but yet they co-existed...lol The lesson on anger management and conflict management comes back to me and is it right for me to hold that anger against him? No. I believe this is just a misunderstanding. I just trust he is not what I am thinking now because my anger and disappointment is blinding me to see something behind. Yet I know I can't see it now. Need time. Sad that he probably does not like what I gave but then at least my thought and wishes have been delivered to him. May God take care this friend of mine and also never let me get angry for the things he said for his intention is never meant that way....

"The Lord is my sheperd, I shall not be in want." - Psalm 23:1

One day spent in JB... :D

It seems to be a traditional for the Ingenia gang to visit JB for every holiday that we had, be it our recess week or the long break between semesters. Today was another day at City Square, the popular shopping mall among the Singaporeans who used to frequent the places near the border of Malaysia often.

We had our lunch at the Hao Bi restaurant which is famous for its herbal ducks rice. We order a set meal for it and a few more side dishes to compliment our lunch. It is one of our favourite food whenever we came over here. Next, some of the guys went for a hair cut at REDS for a relatively good bargain and the rest of us just shop around the mall. I bought another 3 months' supply of contact lens and a small tee with bible verse printed on it as a small treat for myself. Haha...my very first piece of clothes that I bought for the last 2 months! :P Yeah...it still feels good to shop once in a while ba...lol

When everything is done, we head for a karaoke session at Neways located at the top level of the mall. For a total of RM16 (we enjoy a 50% off student discount), we got ourselves into the VIP room (it never states there but I believe it is as good as a VIP room). It is the first time I have found a KTV room...with our own private toilet! lol The sofa are brand new and the room is very spacious with 3 coffee tables placed next to the U-shaped sofa. The 9 of us could almost lie on the sofas nicely...how amazing! lol

We sang till about 6pm when all of us sang until we are tired. Later, we met up with Jeannie who just finished her work (she is on attachment this semester) and went to buy the usual stuffs we all enjoy (hoho...not good to tell here but Singaporeans should know what I am refering to...lol). For dinner, however we did not go for the seafood at Taman Garden. Instead, Joseph brought us to the alleys opposite City Square to enjoy some street stalls delicacies. We love the bak kuh teh, the sambal sting ray, the chicken wings, oyster egg and char kway teow there. The food is really fantastic and it is a totally fun to eat in such environment with your friends, like those roadside stalls back in our parents era...haha...lol But some flaws would be the hygiene and safety and the crowd ba...but these are not such a big issue to us yet as many locals seem to enjoy this place as much as us...lol This is a process for us to assimilate into the locals, isn't it? :P Moreover, this meal only cost RM10 per person...it's really value for the money! :D

After dinner, we went back to City Square to pack away some cheesecakes from Secret Recipe as desserts back in Singapore. We also bought a small piece of cake for Zhiwei to celebrate his belated birthday. It was only 9pm when we reached back hall and the celebration began with 3 tasks for him: blow away the lighted candle from a distance, to drink a can of Heniken beer within 30 seconds, and feed every one of us with spoon for the cake and eat the remaining of the cake off the table without using his hands. These are pretty mild pranks we had on him compared to those for Terry the other time...so he is pretty lucky ya? :P Haha...lol We chat for a while and finally the day ended at about 1130pm when everyone went back to their rooms to rest. Thank God for such a wonderful day with my hall friends...thank you for letting such bunch of friends into my life to bring me joy and happiness in the midst of my stress from my studies...You are forever the greatest! lol

"Sadly my camera is spoilt or else I can show you all these beautiful moments of my life...haiz...those above are taken from my phone (Peiying & I at the KTV) and also from the last visit before today...lol"

Full day project @ ADEKA

It really feels like working for I woke up at 8am to dress up in blouse and skirt for the project excursion again. I had my favourite McDonald's breakfast and we set off to reach the office by 10am. It was different today as we gave the managing director our presentation on what our project is like and what we are actually seeking in the process of the company for our project. After the presentation, we put on our lab clothes and set off for some observation tour around the plant. We examine the margarine and shortening section first, then got to understand about the oil tanks and how they pump in the oil and separate them, and even get to take a look at their freezingly-cold cold rooms (storage rooms for finished products to be exported). The interesting thing we found is that the only worker who is in charged of allocating the items in the cold rooms is fully dressed in winter clothes, making him looks like a little Eskimo man walking around...haha...so cute! lol

We had our lunch after the tour and when we returned, we were all totally exhausted. By then, it was already 3pm. We discussed a bit on the risk that we need to take note of and later split up the workload to bring home to do on our own. There is just no point in staying around for further discussion when all of us look so tired and nothing productive will be produced. Haha...there goes one busy day...lol But I thank God for my flu seems to recover and I am not coughing much...at least not in the plant during our tour...yeah! :P

Going to celebrate my mum's birthday tonight...will miss her when she goes to Hong Kong and only be back here by next year May...sigh...but then kinda get used to being alone all these years so not much to worry about too...haha...lol May God take good care of my mummy and daddy over in China and may both of them stay healthy and happy ba...wish I won't let them worry for me much too...yup yup... :)

"End the day with some good night sleep! lol"

Bad flu day :(

This is like the 3rd time of the month that I fall sick. Haha...slept a lot today till 4pm, waking between intervals to do my work. Sigh...keep sneezing so much...die la...when will my sneeze stop?! Haiz...probably need a healthy meal to start with and an apple each day from now...grr... :(

Finale of the 14 lessons on marriage seminars... :)

Today was the finale of the series of the marriage seminars given by Pastor Kong. The hall stage was decorated with numerous roses and every married couple was given a rose and a small bouquet with ribbons that people used to tie it on the bride's hand. Leading by Rev. Kong Hee, the couples renewed their marriage vows once more under our witness and the atmosphere is totally romantic and loving, just like what the lesson was on today about intimacy and romance in marriages. That romance involves creativity, impractical and doing the unexpected things. But we must also know that romance is not continuous. When romance fades away, there is a tendency for us to seek romance from another person so that we can enjoy that love feeling again. This is just so wrong... Falling in love is easy but staying in love is not. So we must work for our relationship as well and never take them for granted ya? :)

And to our pleasant surprise, Sun was with us today to attend the service! :D It is really great to see her with us, especially to see her with Pastor Kong up on the stage exchanging vows with the rest of the married couples...haha...lol She came all the way here to thank us for praying for her and Dayan and also to express her desire to attend the service. True...you will never get enough of the message of God and the praise and worship to glorify Him ya? lol Yeah....*wink* :P

We had our usual fellowship after the service and we stay around in Orchard. The brothers went to play counterstrike at Cineleisure while the sisters went around Far East and Heeren to shop. And God gives us a chance to sit down to chat and to come across issues and misunderstanding between two sisters. I would say this is a time when it is most suitable for them to sort out their problems with a few of us there to be the middleman. Though there will still be some coldness after the discussion but I hope at least their feelings and thought are now conveyed to the other person so that the anger and hurt between them can be eased ba. Just got to keep on praying hard for them and for anyone else who needs a prayer... :)

Gotta enjoy my week of break for the moment and make full use of it...yeah...lol

"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for on of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." ~ Matthew 25:40

Happy to be able to self-control at last... :P

This week was a terrible week as I am left with barely $10 to survive! :( Haha...but at least I have lasted through it...YEAH! lol As I had my bible study with Shuhui today, she asked me about the fruit of self-control that I told her I lacked of last time and whether I manage to practice it. Oh well, considering that I never bought any stuffs for myself this month (except the "Cancer Warrior" CD), this shouldn't be a very bad record ya? :P Haha...but still money flows out just like tap water...pretty scary to me..*shudder* Haiz...transportation is one major reason, food is another, plus some other stuffs...well that's about it I guess. Guess I just need to reduce my cravings for ice cream for a while too...need to save money for more important stuffs now I guessed...*wink* ;)

Happy to be watching Ghost Whisper again tonight...like those stories where those who have unfinished business to deal with before they can crossover. Life is just so precious. Hope it does not make me cry again...*grinz* :P Look forward to my weekend and my recess week...sabbath day for me today ya? lol

"Everyone is precious in His hands...Amen."

Ethical or not?

Something I learned from my risk management lesson today is the question on being ethical in doing business. There are a few questions for us to answer as a team today regarding different scenarios that we would possibly get in our future career as accountants or businessman. For example, we were asked if we should accept offers from clients such as an all-paid holiday trip or a 50% discount to buy a printer for our own use since the discount is given because we help our company to purchase computers from them. These stuffs were not harmful to the company not the accounts but more of the ethical issues that we need to consider. Should we take such risks as they may still give rise to conflicts of interests?

The most impactful thing I learn from one of my classmates' answer is that we cannot always stay to be too ethical. If we were to be VERY ethical, there is no way we can go far in the competitive business industry. Yet we cannot be NOT ethical at all either, for we will lose trust in our clients and our working partners. True enough, the real working world is full of challenges and that is what make working and studying much different in this sense. The responsibility increases as we enter workforce and the challenges we face is not something that we can possibly find solutions in our textbooks or the things we learn anymore. It requires more of our own standing, knowledge and our flexibility of our way of thinking and doing things now.

Somehow when I thought of that, I will link it to the way churches are today. Like being too ethical cannot help the business to go too far, being too religious cannot help the church to go far either. And don't be mistaken that we should not follow what the bible says or similar stuffs, it is more like we should not be so rigid or stringent over the rules.

Like for traditional churches, they emphasize alot on the rules and a lot of things are not allowed here and there. For example, some of the churches may want their members to wear formal to church, some churches require the songs to be sung by the choir only and the members will keep in slience and never to cheer during praise and worship, some churches will have a fixed way of worshipping and if anything disrupt this order they possibly cannot stand the disruption and make sure everything has to go the way it is. It is like these churches are being too rigid to the rule and if any unforeseen circumstances happen they are not being flexible to change. That's what I mean being too religious. But then nothing deal with their message for they will have the message from God deliver as it is, going through all the required teachings and way of worshipping as usual...

Something I like about CHC is that it is a somewhat modernised church that brought the message from God in a way that attracts people but yet keep to the rule of God as well. Like people will question on the way CHC members dressed as we are all a bit too trendy compared to most of the other christians. This point I remember Pastor Kong has said before that we should dress up for God if we love Him and not like some shabby person. You would want to dress up in front of the person you like too right or to wear formal for your job interviews? Moreover, the joy and cheer during praise and worship certainly bring out the joy that we have for God. I mean, if you are happy to be in the house of God, why don't you want to rejoice and shout in happiness? I agree that sometimes keeping silence is a show of respect but then if you are happy you may want to voice out too ya? :P Haha...possibly different people have different views ba...no offense to anyone...lol

Haha...but I am glad that somehow my mind would just come to analysize such things when I learn something new. It is good to ponder about the things you learn, voice it out and discuss about it, and eventually the thing you learn will give you a much deeper insight and to have make an impact in your life. :) Haha...hope this will let me see clearly of my future ba...yup yup...lol

"Therefore, get your minds ready for the action, being self-disciplined, and set your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." ~ 1 Peter 1:13

Project excursion that feels so pro... :P

This morning I went with my risk management project teammates to visit the company that we are doing our projects on. The company that we chose is called Asahi Denka and it is mainly based in Japan. It is in the food industry manufacturing food products such as margarine, frozen dough, shortenings and oil refinery. The products that are manufactured in Singapore are mainly served as exports to the neighbouring countries as well as back to Japan.

Although the director is one of our friend's father, but the meeting and the discussion is really formal and professional. I am impressed with them that the different managers of the department that we focused our projects on have prepared presentation slides to brief us further on their management and understand how the process is like. We had serious discussion of the questions we have on their safety controls, their quality controls, cost effectiveness as well as the production process. This is really the first time I feel so much like I am really working, like being consultants to the company on how to manage their risk...lol Coz at the end of these few observation visits, we have to prepared our presentation on the risks that we observed and to give recommendation to the management team of the company. Haha...this is really preparing us to enter the workforce next year...lol

Good news I heard again today is that the Big 4 is recruiting more auditors every year, which increases to the number of about 800 by this year. I hope this information is real coz I really wish to get into the Big 4. Haha...stress time...lol

"Remember the 4 Ms that is important to the production industry: Manpower, Machines, Materials and Methods."

Farewell dinner for Daryl & Ziyang

Yesterday was great as I had a great service in the morning, a great fellowship with the brothers and sisters at TCC where we engaged in much deeper conversations than before, and at night a farewell dinner to Daryl & Ziyang who will be going off to UK London Imperial College to study soon...sad that time flies so fast...haiz...

Upon Ziyang's suggestion, we went to this ulu Korean bbq restaurant at the Specialist Centre to dine. Haha...it is quite a lovely place and simply almost no crowd at all...lol The food are prepared with the korean seasoning and in korean style and everything is fantastic. There is a group of koreans whom I believe are one of those officials who came to attend the IMF and they just make the whole place feel like being true Korea! :D Haha...lol

After that we had our dessert at Cafe Cartel in which all the cakes go at 50% discount after 9pm...haha...something to end a wonderful day...lol Sigh...gonna miss all these times...wonder how it would be like next year for everyone of us will change over another year and will all these happy times remain the same? Or will the time and distance drift us apart? Haiz...guess God will tell me when the time comes...haha....friends forever...huggies! :P

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable -- if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise -- dwell on these things." ~ Philippians 4:8

Chain cycle

I realise my life is getting monotonous this year: Study, sleep, study, sleep...an evil chain cycle of an undergraduate...haha... Feeling kinda tired about all these but yet they are inevitable: I can never escape from them anyway. My stress-phobia is coming back, that is I would throw everything down and do nothing about them, because I am just so scared of them. The notes and books will become monsters in my mind that they will jump up and bite me...I hate these thoughts of mine but when can I get rid of them? Haiz...

The only interesting things in my room are my hammies, never fail to entertain me with their cute funny little stunts...haha...lol They are growing so much fatter now...wonder when I can finally turn them into little fur balls to play with...haha...lol

End this entry with a reminder below that I think is very practical in everything that we do...

"Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." - Galatians 6:9

Earth is going to extinction?! =O

I had my astronomy quiz today and before our quiz starts, they show us a video about the earth and the galaxies and comets. In the video, it tells us how little our solar system is in the whole universe and how dangerous it is to travel in space as it is a space full of asteroids and comets whose sizes can be a few times bigger than the sun. The astronomist in the video also states that there are high possbilities that our human population will become extinct soon, just like the dinosaur age. It states that comets travel near us like once in every million years as a very great speed. The last one that came close to our solar system was in 1994 which hits on the Jupiter. But always remember there is not just one comet in the universe but probably millions of those high speed rocks out there. The dinosaurs existed before us 65 million years ago and just one comet that hit us had caused them to be totally extinct from this world. We human beings have lived on the earth for a few million of years now and hence the chances of comet coming to hit us apparently increases.

Before I come to take this course I believe I never really take into consideration so much on the earth's extinction. But as you take this course, you have a better understanding of the stars and the universe, and everything in the video starts to make sense to us...kinda scary isn't it? And then you will think about what happen to you, what would you want to do on the last day on earth...haha...kinda like the movies "Deep Impact" right? :P But then sometimes, maybe because I have my religion, all these don't sounds scary to me or probably even to be leave me puzzling over certain issues.

Like on my course notes, I remember they told us that human beings are formed by the atoms of stars, just like the way the planets are formed. But even if that is so, we would probably some rock statues that stood on the crust of the earth...haha...sounds kinda interesting...lol In the bible, it has said that God made Adam out of the dust on the earth and He gives him life. Even if we are formed by the atoms, where would our souls, our spirits come from to make us move, make us have feelings and emotions, and the wisdom and knowledge to understand the world in which we live in? I doubt there are such powerful atoms that give us life ba...lol

About the earth coming to extinction and human beings being wipe out by any asteroids or comets that will hit us anytime soon, I do believe this theory. True, the universe is never a safe place for the planets as you can see the numerous craters on the moon that is visible to us. These craters are formed when an asteroid or a comet hits on it. But to me, I am looking at it more as the judgement day that God has told us in the bible where everyone of us will come before Him and be judged for all the things that we did. So if we were like the dinosaurs, that will be the day that He will come.

In fact, in the video they say that our earth is pretty lucky for over the million of years we are safe from any collision with the stars and the rocks in the universe. This partly due to the presence of Jupiter which has high gravity pull that many of the rocks and stars that come close to us went to hit on Jupiter instead. To me, I thank God for putting Jupiter close to our earth to protect us from all these harms. And I thank God that over so many many years that nothing hit on us or even come close to destroy or affect us. Luck? I think it's more of God's blessings ba...lol

Haha...but I agree with my friend that astronomy is not a easy course, and for christians, it is more like a course that people will come and question us about our faith because so many things are unexplanable in the universe. Only God will know the answers. Haha...but I am glad to take this course still as I am thankful that God has given me this chance to live and to witness the beauty of the earth and the wonders of His works...even if it meant the quiz is gonna kill me in the end...haha...lol

"Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of faith is to see what we believe in."

Overnight supper trip...lol

Yesterday I went to have supper with Daryl, Ziyang and Huiling to Chomp Chomp. We talk alot, or mainly I keep listening to the 3 of them and there seem to be so many things to share and tell each other. Like Daryl will tell us about his life for the past year over at London and Ziyang will talk about his life now before he goes off, and Huiling will happily babbling about her school and her band. Haha...think I am probably the only one there with a life that is so boring and lifeless...all but studying and getting stuck in my room...haha...lol

It was supposed to be just a supper and chat for a while before we head home. But then, with Huiling around, as usual the night will somehow be much longer and we went to Geylang to have another round of supper, then go Esplanade that side and sit down to chat. It was really enjoyable and fun (sad that Brian was not around with us) or it was really like back in HCJC for the first 3 months where we would have dinner and talk till late at night as usual...kinda make miss those good old times that we had...sigh...

Many things have happened over the past two years ever since we left our JC and all of us have grown much more. It is great to see that we still meet up like once in a while for such supper and just chat our hearts out. But then, by the end of this month, the two guys will be gone too and we will probably got to wait another year for such gatherings to come again. Haiz...

I believe God has put different people in our lives in different times to give us a different perspective and to give us different emotions to feel at those times. We learn from the people around us, we grow together with them, never feeling alone with the people around you. Yet sometimes we got to learn to be independent as well when they are not around us, that's when we learn to become a much stronger person. I will miss all these suppers and gathering with them...treasure the time left ba...lol

"End the day with a good stomach, a good fellowship, and a good rest...lol"

Juz a bit more to a better week... :P

After today, for the time being, I can finally get to focus on my astronomy course quiz which is on Wednesday. I had quite a tough weekend this week, juggling with an assignment that I only know it is due like a few hours later, a presentation today and 2 weekly projects down...YIPPEE! :D Haha...finally a small break for myself before I get to walk a longer route down...tired & exhausted...lol

Yesterday was still another favourtie day of the week, attending the service, prayer meeting and fellowship...haha...my Sabbath day?! :P Yesterday was another powerful service in which pastor Kong preached to us about anger management in marriages and relationships. I realised that lately most of the marriage seminars are getting general, as in their focus are not only on marriages but also the relationship that you are in with the other people. Like on Saturday the seminar was on communications. He tells us what are the reasons that cause a person to be angry, and how we respond to our anger.

There are mainly 4 ways we respond to anger: Suppression, Repression, Expression and Confession. Out of this four, only the last response we should adopt to it for if we confess our anger just a second late, there is one more second for the devil to have his chance to manifest this anger in us and eventually lead us to lose our self-control and sin against the others. We also learn how in the bible we are taught to deal with our anger and also practical ways that we can deal with it. For example, we should identify our emotions at that time by asking ourselves: "What am I feeling right now?" And when you confess to your partner you are angry, use the "I" statements like "I am hurt by your words" to express your anger to the other person in a way that they can take it to their hearts and understand how you feel so they can make the right response to you as well. Haha...this is just a great lesson to be learned ya? :)

Feel kinda happy now coz everything seems to be running back into places after Sunday. I was feeling moody all along without much reasons...haha...maybe I'm experiencing PMS? :P Haha...but anyway, once I was back in the Expo Hall 8, singing praises to God and taking in His words through the mouth of Pastor Kong, I found my peace once again. Even reading the bible on my own is not as effective (probably only when I do a good quiet time in my room will make me feel the same way...lol) as being there at church. The presence of God is really felt strongly and the Holy Spirit will fill me up as all I had in my mind then is to worhsip Him, thanking Him for everything that is in my life and glorifying Him to be such a great Father. Ever since I come back to church, the feeling of being away from God is kinda scary. That period of time I was not myself, doing things I don't know why I would choose to do, denying Him when all He wants to do is to love me. You have no sense of direction, no true meaning in your life. But thank God I never stray too far that I couldn't find Him anymore...or at least my sheperd had found me and taken me back to home. "Home sweet home" is truly the words to describe my feelings then.

"Thank you Father for everything and your plan for me. Even in the times of downturn and sufferings in my life, you show me your love and care, and to build me to become a stronger person than before. Faith and patience is not easy things to hold on to but with your guidance, I will make sure I will hold on to the end because you are worth everything. Amen."

If we hold on together

Was reading my friend's blog and I found this song. Like it because it is just so soothing in times when you are troubled. God really gives us the option to choose in our life, a path that is not easy to walk. When you put your feet on the path, you walk happily and then you come across junctions. Then God will ask you to make your choice. And you decide to take this path, your heart will start to question you. But you know that in the end God will still make things right for you, just don't know how long it will take. So all we can do now is to be patient and wait.

Sometimes really it takes all your strength to hold on to the dreams that we initially have. Many will fall back along their ways, many will forget what are their initial goals of life. But true enough, if we believe, our dreams will be fulfilled.

Yup yup...heading to Bing's 21st birthday party later...wonder if her house is big enough to hold everyone...haha...lol

Don't lose your way with each passing day
You've come so far, don't throw it away
With believing, dreams are for living
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story, faith, hope and glory,
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Deams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by, for you and I

Souls in the wind must learn how to bed
See how the stars hold on to the end
Valley mountain there is a fountain
Washes our dreams all away
Words are swaying, somebody's praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We dream
In the dark we feel the light
Warm our hearts
Eeveryone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

"Hold on to our dreams with belief and faith."

Something I shouldn't know...

I don't know why but I start to feel sad all over again. Maybe because I come to know something that I shouldn't know. But then, I will be fine, really fine soon because I am facing it head on and even encouraging myself to do so. Guess I can't tell what I feel sad about but yup I will get a bit down these days. It's not any of the bitterroot judge, it's not about inner vows. More like I said to myself: "It finally happened." Haha...look on the bright side, I have been answered. Today will be another long day, probably keep myself busy with my work to keep my mind off it...got the astronomy quiz on Wed! :O Grr...haha...lol

I shall pray harder and do my quiet time to keep my mind at peace. I find my strength in you my Lord... :)

"Sometime somethings are meant to be left unknown, and when I know about it, I should be happy instead of sad. Because I have come to know what I need to know."

SPCA & my near future plan...

Finally I get to help out for SPCA as they were having a booth at the Shaw House for these 3 days selling SPCA merchandises to help raise funds for the animals. It was really great to see the crowd that always appear at the booth, looking and picking up the things they want to help out. Most of the people came and when they found nothing they really want to buy, they would generously give donations. Haha...it's really heart-warming to know that there are many Singaporeans who cares for the animals and support the SPCA. :) I know some of those who came even told us that they have like 18 cats at home! Wow...the cats will be blessed to stay in her home lo...lol I also had a great time talking to my volunteer representative. She told me she is currently taking one year break from her work (in which she works as an office manager last time) and just to devote herself in doing voluteering work now. Wow...a good example for all the woman and the working class to follow ya? ;) Always remember to take a rest after all the hectic life and continue later on.

In fact, earlier on I really want to go to study at the SOT to further my knowledge about His words in the near future. But when I know that it is a full-time course, somehow I was a bit disheartened as I know my parents need me and I got to work after I graduate. But then now, I think I probably can work for like 3 years, get my CPA and I will take a year break to join the SOT ba...haha...that should be my goal for the near future in a few years' time. :)

As for graduation, I am still thinking if I should join my friends for the trip as I know I will most probably be the only girl among them unless I join another group of friends. Haha...but now I was thinking of something better...how about going on mission trips? :) This thought actually occurs to me quite some time but I keep thinking I probably not knowledgeable enough to join the missions teams to go out to other countries to preach to the people there yet. Or I have that mindset that I probably of not much help either. But if I am given one year time or eight months to be exact, I think I should grow much and know so much more about Him that I'll have the confidence to reach out to the others ba. So I should just keep my hunger for His words going, and whether or not that I can make it for any of the mission trip, I would have grow so much stronger by next year ya? ;) Haha...yeah! lol

By the way, I learn something from the bible again. In Matthew 15:11, "What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean', but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean'." The Pharisees criticized that Jesus's disciples never washed their hands before they eat and Jesus replied them that they broke the command of God by nullifying His words for the sake of their tradition. True enough, what goes into our mouth will go into the stomach and then out of the body. But what comes out of our mouth is what comes from our hearts. If you speaks vulgar languages, you are certainly not a well-mannered person. If you speaks of those evil thoughts, murder, slander, your heart is evil. If you give false testimonies and tell lies, you are a dishonest person and a liar.

The world changes you on the outside, but God works in you through your heart. People can tell if you had God in your life by the way you behave and the way you response through your mouth. Even if you are well-dressed and probably live in a grand place, you speaks with anger, your words hurt everyone around you, do you think there will be people who want to come close to you? If they ever do, they are only eyeing on your houes and your valuables and once you walk out of your house, you are probably left alone by yourself. So let God renew your heart and renew your mind and everything will come to you under His plan.

Yup yup...looking forward to the overnight prayer meeting later...my first time being there! lol God will be there listening to our prayers 24/7...He will never miss a word you says. So many things to pray for...haha...God is just great...lol

"Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit." - Matthew 15:13-14

Juz another happy Thursday... :)

Feeling great today as I will be having my cell group meeting again tonight...it's gonna be another time to learn about God and His words...lol

This morning I had my AA205 seminar, and for the first time, I finally did my tutorial before class and I manage to contribute to the group discussion! (And I mean constructive suggestions brought up by me...lol) It's just feels great when you are given the knowledge to answer the things you know...haha...thank you Father for giving me the wisdom in my studies...yeah! :D

I went for my cell at night and tonight Brother Darren was the one preaching to us on His words. This is probably the second time I attend the cell group which is under Brother Darren's lead and I really enjoy his preaching. Maybe because the first time he talks about friendship in God's perspective and that was the time when I was struggling with some issues on friendship and the message was just like God speaking directly to me. And this time it goes the same as he elaborates on the message further given on last Sunday service by Pastor Kong. He brings out the message on being emotionally and mentally in building a great church. And two things that we mainly focus on today are 1) Bitterroot Judgement and 2)Inner Vows.

Bitterroot judgement is a seed of bitterness that you don't like on certain things since young. It occurs when we are unwilling to forgive the ones who have hurt us before and we are condemned by the other person's sins. When we start to resent on certain things or people, our hearts start to judge the others and bitterness came in. Hence in Hebrew 12:14, we need to pursue peace and holiness, in which "peace" tells us to forgive those who have offended us and we are able to release our bitterness in us, while "holiness" is being having the holy spirits in us and let it guide us.

Inner vows are carnal vows, a pre-destination that we set on the inside in our mind, our hearts and our childhood. And these are the vows that are usually forgotten. We have to know that their creation got to do with the intensity of emotions at that time when we made those vows, and these emotions come from the response from our hearts. We have to always remember: when we are children, we do things that children do; but when we have turned into man, we have to put our childish ways away. That's why in Matthew 5:34, God does not want us to swear on ourselves or the heaven or the earth. He wants us to keep to the oath but not to swear. He wants a solemn promise from us.

I feel blessed to have heard these messages as these few days some unwanted feelings keep coming back to haunt me and I was really troubled by them. Yet now I feel at peace. Tonight's message made many of us cried as I believe each of us has a past that we feel hard to let go of. I am glad I no longer teared with them for I truly believe now I am free from it at last. I no longer feel the pain but to look on the bright side of my life...coz I believe God is in control of my life now and there is nothing for me to worry for if I seek to build His kingdom first. God is wonderful...lol

I think recently I have a great hunger for God's words and knowledge that I have seemed to become a problematic student...haha...lol Asking Shuhui, Brian and now Sis Jaz for questions on God's words. I think they are pretty shocked by the number of things that I can actually dig out from the bible ba...never know I could be wanting to hear even the tiniest details of the holy book! :P Haha...but then we can help each other to learn too ya? :) I just want to know so much more about Him that sometimes I feel so much difference had occured to me now...kinda scary...haha...lol

Oh tomorrow will have an overnight prayer meeting at the Jurong Hall. I really wonder how it would be like as I have never been to one before, not one that is overnight yet. I don't know if I can even make it through the night as tomorrow I have just agree to volunteer myself to help out at the SPCA booth to sale and raise funds for them. And also on Saturday as well, after my project in the morning. Yet I would love so much to go down and give it a try even out of all my busy schedule. It would just mean so much to me to help pray for the others...haha...can't because I feel tired and I should neglect the prayer of another ya? :) If everyone thinks in that way, then the pastors would have a much easier timetable and not like Pastor Kong to fly here and there just to preach His words...oh gosh...that will be terrible! :P So guess I will just have to challenge myself ba...haha...my laziness and tireness...lol

Yup yup...it's gonna be another busy weekends for me but I will be happy...God bless everyone's weekend to be great too! :)

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." - 1 Corinthians 13:11

The dream of getting into Big 4...

It's pretty scary how fast time passed by and now it is already September and soon all the job recruitment drive will start (in fact all the firms are giving talks in our school now regarding their respective recruitment and criteria they look for in the accountants). And for me, I can only pray hard that I can be at least given a chance to get the interview to get into the Big 4.

The Big 4 network night will fall on the 19 October and only after that night everyone will start to send in their resumes to the top 4 accounting firms in Singapore, famously known as the Big 4: PriceWaterCoopers (PWC), Ernst & Young (EY), Deloitte & Touche, and KPMG. I know those who had their PA in any one of these firms have already receive contracts waiting for them to sign. I know my friend is still considering whether he wants to apply for that company as he wants to go into the banks instead. Haiz...if your result is good you get to choose the firm you want to work for, but if your result is bad, well, the firms will choose whether they want you.

If I am given any chance to get into any of them, I won't even hesitate to choose which firm to go. I guess I got pretty much no choice ba. My only regret is that I never work hard enough for my past two years and there is nothing I can do to recover what is already lost. But then, I still believe what I have now, I can make full use of it and excel in the things that I do ba. Coz everything is planned by the Lord and I am thankful for Him for letting me know the mistakes I have done and to know that it is never too late to turn back and head on the right track again. God is great always...JIA YOU Christine...YEAH! lol

By the way, an oven toasted oyster mushroom taste great with some butter applied...try it today! :P

"The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not them. Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him." - Matthew 13:11-12

A tribute to the Crocodile Hunter, Steven Irwin

It is often only when the person passed away, you will know how popular and famous he was by the tributes and the number of people paying respect to the dead.

I was shocked by the news yesterday that Steven Irwin, famously known as the Crocodile Hunter has passed away due to the tragic accident of being stung by the stingray through his chest while he was filming for another documentary video. Though I don't know this man well, but I can still recall the stunts that he did in the past when I was still young. The most famous and memorable one would be the stunt that he put his baby over the top of a crocodile. It was debated heatly at that period of time as some find it unreasonable to put one's baby over one of the world's most dangerous creatures. He did many other dangerous stunts with sharks as well and he was well-known for pushing himself to the limits with such close encounters with animals that no one dare to get close to.

His love and passion for the animals also earn many people's respect as being a wildlife warrior. True enough, many animals has been coming close to the edge of extinction because of the killings for their fur, skin, meat or even their teeth! What's wrong did those animals do to deserve such treatments from us? Sigh...they may be dangerous but yet it is a part of their instinct to protect themselves. Aren't human being even more cruel than them by killing one another and inventing all the destructive weapons in the world?! I remember a banner that touches me at SPCA when I do my volunteering work there: "To you, I am just a pet. To me, you are my everything." Really got to stop the cruelty and abuse on the animals as they are really lovable and they have feelings too....sigh...

Steven Irwin will always be a warrior in the hearts of the people of respect him of all the things he did, for his video which educates us much more on the nature of the wildlife. He is one great man, and it is indeed a great loss for us. It was really amazing at the number of people yesterday who put a turtle in front of their MSN nick. There was actually emails and MSN message passing around telling us to put a turtle icon in front of our MSN nick to show it as a respect to Steven Irwin. It is really surprised to see the list of people who put the turtle in front...it was like almost 80% of them! Haha...hope he will rest in peace now for all the efforts that he paid to save the wildlife. I believe there will be people who will be inspired to continue his work one day. May God bless his family for he will always be up there watching over them now...

"If you spend an hour in depression, you will lose 60 minutes of chance to be happy."

God is great...

I just don't feel well today, having another round of my non-stop flu. Keep sneezing in the morning and a bit of headache. I guess I probably will skip my lesson today as I really don't feel like going out to anywhere with such nose and dizziness. Still thinking if I should go and see a doctor and get a MC, or should I just take the pills that I always prepared in my room for such flu and cough and fever kind. Haiz...then my eyes are getting swollen as I guess they are infected. So for the time being I probably got to stick to my glasses for now... *sniff sniff*

Yesterday sermon was on Marital Pyramid and I believe God has spoken to me again. It talks about individual emotions and mental health and how your parents will affect your own marriage. Marriage is NOT about finding the right partner in your life; it is about being in the right emotion and mindset yourself when you get married. Things like you got to let go of your past relationships and emotions when you enter a new one, being mature and not act like a kid to your other half...all these are also application in all our other relationships too. It really touched me and I just love God for filling me up with exactly what I want to know, what is troubling me always...THANK YOU LORD! lol

And I just come across an article on the newspaper yesterday about a girl who thought to be dead has finally come back as she was mistaken by the coroner and was in coma instead. Went to read the family's blog (http://www.whitneycerak.blogspot.com) and it was just great as they are christians too who have faith in Him as always even when their daughter was not around. It really touched me how brave they have been and strong they have remained in Him to overcome all these pains and problems. But I would always wonder about the other family who now have to deal with the lost of their daughters. I wish they will still have strong faith in Him too and to trust Him to take away their pain and that they will still be blessed by Him.

It is always so easy to say things than to be done. Juz got to remember that part of the cross-bearing for us is also the willingness to suffer for the Lord. "Strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. 'We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,' they said." - Acts14:22. Yes we just got to trust the Lord with all our heart for everything He has a purpose for us and that we have to have faith in Him for His plan will never fail us. Yeah...God is great! :)

Oh gosh my headache is back and I start to get my muscle cramp...grrr...I probably gonna sleep for a while more...haiz...

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away...I want an apple now! :P"

The heart has reasons which reason cannot understand...

Tough times since school started. Even when you don't have lessons, you should never be too contented with yourself for you never know there are actually more work waiting for you...

I got an individual assignment which is due today before 5pm. Haha...given I have only 2 days to complete it on my own...tough tough... :P And I just checked my NTU email to find out that there is another online assignment due by tomorrow midnight...worse is that it is both individual and as a team, which is that my team members all seem so busy to even have a time to discuss about it...sigh...well...I guess things will come to solve by itself eventually before the deadline ba...haha...lol But nevertheless, I can probably only start working on this assignment tomorrow when I return coz I still don't understand what it is all about and I would probably bring the instruction and the case back home to read later on...busy busy busy...haiz...

Somehow I kinda miss going to service today. The message will be on marriage again given by Pastor Kong. Haha...I hope sunday will come again soon so I can go to service again, something I look forward to every week now...something that makes me feel great as long as I am in the presence of God...yeah! lol

Like the little book "Happiness Is" by Rev. Dr. A.R. Bernard, always feel happy again after reading it...haha...lol Life is indeed meaningless if there is no goal in our life, no sense of direction. I thank God for He has provided me with the vision in my life, a direction for me to go. Wherever I am, I know He is always there for me, my friend and my counsellor, who will never leave. Glad to know You right from the start, glad to have that chance in my life where my door is opened for You...thank God for everything... :)

Just wanna share another song that can't get out of my mind these days...haha...God bless!


Glorious Redeemer by Christian City Church

I love you with all my heart
Trust you with all I have
For you hold the heavens and earth in your hands

You die on the cross for me
Took all my sin and shame
Your name is holy, exalted above all names

Glorious redeemer
You have paid for my life
You have gone before me
Now I walk by your side
I lift my hands to you Lord
You are worthy of all praises
Jesus reigns
Jesus you reigns

"Human heart can be complicated yet as simple as it seems..."

My Lord is my strength... :)

Yesterday night was another splendid night with my dear cell group members. And best of it, Yanning had finally make her time to come! :) Thank God for watching over this great sister of mine. I believe He will speak to her one day or use one of us to talk to her. Haha...lol

We had our praise and worship as usual. The message for the night was on our committments in church vision. Basically, all churches' vision for us is to love our God and love the others around us. There are basically 4 levels of committment: Membership committment, Friendship committment, Ministry committment and Mission committment. We choose which church we want to belong to and identify the church vision with our own visions. We learn to share our experiences, our homes and problems with the others. We learn to grow, to learn and to serve in church. And also, we should never forget to love the lost. Quite a pretty strong message for every members to come together in church to unite as one big family ya? :)

Had a great fellowship on the taxi with Joanne, Lynn and Belle after that as we head home. Lynn told us many times she missed fellowshipping with us during service due to her ministry but yet she love her ministry. Haha...glad she is not a sister who would choose to fellowship with us and not to serve...don't worry gal, we won't forget your presence as we will be around always to ask if you are coming! :) Haha...then Belle and I went for supper after reaching NTU (got ourselves nice pratas at Ah Fang) and we actually talk and chat till like 3am in my room! Haha...feel so happy! :D

Well, as for today, I had my bible study with Shuhui. Haha...and I think I gave her the best Teacher's Day gift by throwing lots of the questions I come across as I read the bible. But she can't answer me immediately and she probably got to go back to do some research...hope I didn't become a problematic kid for her ya? :P Haha...but I guess by asking, even the tiniest doubt that I had on my mind, it really helps to give yourself a better understanding on His words and your knowledge about Him and to build a stronger foundation so you won't create more doubts in the future as you move on to learn more about Him. Our God is omnipotent and there is just so much and so deep to learn from Him and to be like Him... :)

Later on I had dinner with my mum...so long never really get the time to dine with her. Well, I finally picked up the courage to ask her about my uncle and I realise that he is not going to go through just one surgery on his heart, but another one on his kidney too. And even if we manage to pay off the heart surgery, I don't think we can afford his kidney surgery anyway. One of my uncle has already passed away last time due to kidney failure and I understand the pain he had gone through. If God is ever going to take this uncle of mine away, I believe he probably will be much better off as he would no longer have to suffer in pain. My only regret is probably I could not reach out to him. I pray that God will speak to him through others in Hong Kong ba...

But then since my mum is being really strong for the lost of her brother last time and even now she still can put a smile on her face, I will do the same just for her to make her feel much better ba... :) We can certainly look upon Him for His strength to be there to keep us strong and be there to comfort us always...Amen.

"Strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to faith. 'We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,' they said." - Acts 14:22