Blessings

I was a little busy lately. My peak period is finally here...or so it seems. My CFA Level 1 exam is just 7 days ahead...and somehow I am not really ready for it. Mum has left too...and now I am home alone for the next few months or even half a year. Honestly, I feel like a super woman...and I can understand why woman appeared to be stronger than man because they can work and handle household chores at the same time. Hahaha...lol

But even in the midst of all these, I no longer feel that anxious anymore. Tiredness is definitely present but it is physically and not so much emotionally or mentally. My mindset is somehow changed for the better and look upon the greatness of the outcome of all these effort that I had put in the things I do. And somehow, I am excited to see the result...no matter how long I have to wait. Because I know I have a relationship with God who always there for me and guide me through. All I need to do now is listen and talk to Him.

Lately, I have made a vow to myself that I want to devote these few months till my 24th birthday next year to God. That means that -- I want to put Him first in everything I do and do my quiet time and prayers daily without fail. This is not because I have never done them before or I don't like God so much before. It is just because I want to make and turn all these practices into a daily habit for myself...just like a habit or routine that we will do and not forget such as washing up every morning and eat our meals daily. I want to talk to God and listen for any of his comments everyday. I want to build with Him a much closer relationship so that I can understand what He wants and would do to. So far, I have been able to achieve them...thank God that I didn't give it up just because I have a long day! :)

Like I share on Friday with my cell members, I realise there are many more visible blessings upon me after I have this much closer relationship with God daily. I admit I am someone who would run dry and lose faith when I couldn't see what is in front of me. And God knows this weakness of me...He just know when is the right timing to show me and give me the assurance I need.

Last sunday, I have finally received the long awaiting reply about my stall for the flea market. It was actually a 2-days flea market event that is held by LIME @ Scape, behind Orchard Cineleisure, to give people the opportunity to be a stall owner. I never expect I could get it becuase there are many applicants since it is advertised on the magazine and all you need to do is send your proposal through email. They will shortlist you if you are qualified for it. And guess what...I got my booth on the 8 Dec for 1 day! :D This will be such a great learning opportunity for me and a time for me to make some money for this coming Xmas...YEAH!!! *bleam*

Another financial blessings come when I met up with my good friend Yingz on Thursday night. She passed me some surveys that I could earn some commission if I can find people to fill them up. Actually, this opportunity is really come to her by a rare chance. And I am so glad I could help her out with it...whether or not there is money I am glad to help my very good friend too. :) And honestly, I feel so much happy every time just to be able to see her and chat with her heart-to-heart while we take our stroll or jog around our beautiful Punggol neighbourhood. God has certainly blessed me lots to have my best friend move and stay in the same area as me...

On Friday, I am blessed again too because my senior actually let me off early for me to go for cell group meeting! :D He didn't let my the other colleague to go off early but for me, he is lenient! Because I mentioned about it to him and hope to be let off probably by 7 plus or 8 since we were having OT for the whole week till about 930 everyday. I was prepared that I might have to give the cgm a miss already. Yet, I manage to finish off my work early and by 640 he let me off! Praise the Lord! :D

During cell group meeting, brother Chris preach a short message and most of the time we were worshipping and praying to God. Initially, I feel nothing as we pray with our tongues...which I feel a little anxious why I still feel nothing at all after all my regular praying and quiet time with Him. So I pray again to God that I want to feel his presence. Well, believe it or not, a warmth rise up from within me and I started to cry. The crying is something I cannot stop at all. It is not a sad cry but a joy that I am crying out loud. It touches me so deep in my heart...and that is just all that I need to feel assured and instantly, I can feel a peace that I yearn for so long in my heart. Now, I just cannot wait to see what is ahead for me in my life and not to keep holding back certain things in my heart. For what is in the past we cannot change it anymore, but our future is still in the our hands and if we follow God's guidance, we will be rewarded with his prize that is waiting at the end for us. God, thank you for showing me the way and rebuild my confidence... :)

After cell group, I had a great conversation with Shuhui as we stroll along the Singapore river. It was one of those quality times that I always like to have with my close friends. I want to thank God for this great sister too who always listen and share with me too. I am thankful that I share something I held in my heart for some time too to her. And we touch on topics we never really talk about at all too. The only thing is that...can that little secret of me come true? I wish he knows about it too but at the same time I am scared how would he react to it. I would rather have a great friendship with him than to lose a nice brother. But THAT is just a crush, a dream I hope to see to come true. We are not even close and how would there be chemistry between us right? Must be illusion...or desperation...oops! Hahaha...lol *bleah*

On Saturday, I was sitting with Christina once again on the floor area. I actually like to sit with her because it is closer to the stage and sitting next to her makes me aware of how I should take care of people. And her coming to church, on wheelchair, kind of let me see the evidence of how a person who loves God should do -- dwell in his house and worship him always, even if it is of inconvenience for you. I can see that even Christina is seated on wheelchair, she is very blessed too with a loving husband who would drive her every week to church before his work and provide her with a maid to take good care of her. It is a great marriage that I seen from her, God's blessings in her family. I wish I could have such a loving husband too one day and build God a family that would be glad to serve Him always. :)

And today, once again Yingz come to my rescue for some urgent reason. If not for her, I really wouldn't know what to do. THANK YOU so much dearie...my bestest friend ever! :)) *hugz*

I am putting all these down, because it was a truly very blessed week for me that I want to remember it in the future too. I want to remind myself next time if I every forgot what God has done for me...or so may this will never happen! :) I also want to remember that following Jesus is not always smooth and given to you freely...you need to pick up your cross to follow Him. In times when you come to valleys, we should in fact talk to God and step into His presence more often, no matter how cold, hard or unwilling we feel to come to face Him. For that's the time we need Him most...

"Father, I love you and take all of me...for all of you..."