Joining in the birthday celebration with E266 @ Changing Appetite
The celebration above happened since last Saturday. Today is Jason's and Chris Su's birthday celebration during cell. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all the November babies! *grinz*
Today, Chris preaches on the message about building relationship with God. The emphasis is on focusing on the inward man (our spirits) and to renew it on a daily basis. This is because if we focus on our outward man (our bodies) which perishes with time, we will grow to become tired.
When we say we seek God's plan, it mean that God has already a plan for us. God is the designer of our lives and He has planned everything for us. The key point here for us to walk his path and become successful is just whether did we choose to listen to him...or not. It is only through the relationship we have with God, that we can communicate to Him, as well as listen and talk to Him. If there is no relationship, where would all these communications come from?
Chris told us that there are mainly four things that would hinder us to build that relationship with God: 1) Past bondages; 2) Hesitation 3) Future fears; 4) Temptations; and 5) Lack of resources. I know where my weakness lies -- past bondages and hesitation. I seem to be someone who cannot let go that easily and take time to think, too much, before action is done. The negative side of me...
Taking Peter to walk with Jesus on water is something new. In a way, you would not think about doing it immediately unless you trusted the person who tells you to do so. It is the trust that we have for God that will choose the decision we will make to God. It is also because of this trust that we have in Him that will help to build a closer relationship with God.
Sometimes, I realise I am too shy to pray for someone special in my life. In a way, I have grown to become too independent on my own. Or more like I am forced to be on my own. With mum leaving for HK again soon, I couldn't help to feel that emptiness and loneliness of my own house once again. Honestly, I don't enjoy this feeling at all and I pray always for the reason why God has to put me in this way -- does God want to train me up to be independent? Does He train me this way so I will be strong and also to become a shoulder or helping hand for others to lean on when it is needed? Or maybe making me the only child in the family is the way to prevent me to have any suicidal thoughts that I used to have whenever I faced a huge downfall in my life? Now I really feel disgusted at myself for having that thought of giving up my life...it was truly a desperate measure. But that is how much sadness I could feel deep in my heart back then when I was tested...and I have failed badly.
Coming back to God now makes me see a brighter side of life much more than in the past. In a way, I could always count on the usual me for positive thoughts and not to collapse out of the blue. I am happy to have God ruling over my life. The only thing I would wonder is did I open up my heart enough to let Him take over me? Did I take God for granted? Did I understand His words well enough and follow it as it is said? These are the thoughts that run through my mind whenever I thought of building that relationship with Him. He is so good that I just wonder if I am good enough for Him to love me the way He does to me...
But instead of running away like I used to, this time I wanna change for the better. I will study His words regularly, keep praying, attend cell and services, serve in his ministry, learn from my bible study and to apply His words in my life. If there is anything imperfect about myself, I hope to make it perfect for God so He could use me. This is the difference I feel ever since sliding back to God...and I hope to stay this positive always.
Right now, I just hope to be able to stay to the vow that I have made to God myself. I hope to be totally devoted to God alond and put Him always in my first priority until I turn 24 next year. I hope I can be disciplined myself and reach my goal. Jiayou Christine! *woosh!*
"He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world. Amen! :)"
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