Speaking the Unspeakables

These days I wonder if my mouth has been saying the wrong things. Because I realise somehow, somewhere, someone would just like to argue with me over trivial matters like we did today. Is it something wrong with me?

One example happened during a game we played over the Minds cafe. I was sabotage on the first round in a game and of course I would want a little "revenge". So I did the same thing to the person in the next game...and unexpectedly he got fed up! He can still recall all those details even after the game just because I used back the same way as he did to me...and worse to reminds me of it...is he just joking around or he is really fed with me? Am I wrong to do so?

It seems like everyone thinks I am being revengeful in doing so while it is fine for him to act the way he is...but he would not like to be treated the same way as he treats me...so what is the problem here?

Another example just happened today. I would not have believed he would hold that same old grude against the pronunciation of our common surname and brought it up again so to make his stand clear. What is wrong with him??? Of course I would not like to be called in the same way he saw it to be and it was already clear when I told him the other time...can't he understand our stand is just simply different and accept it that way instead of keep voicing it out trying to gain recognition from others that he just has to be right or better than what I am saying? Did I ask him to take my stand anyway?

I put these trivial matters way behind me as I believe in our differences and there is no way to try to change the other person standing...but apparently, this person don't think in that way and has to hold such grudges in his heart...oh manz...

Honestly, I may be frank and blunt in speaking at times that I would not know if I were in the wrong to say something I shouldn't. Yet, it was clear to my friends that they could tell me if I say something wrong so I know and would not repeat it again next time. BUT I don't see that they could become conflicts in others that they would want to argue with me again! Or worst to keep it in their hearts until a much later time and they would tell it rather in an ugly way in front of me. Are they really my brothers who learn the things together during cell group? Why were those two examples hold such a revengeful hearts that I feel so hurt and dislike upon? And they don't really seem to be joking with me! Haiz... Somehow, after these incidents, I realise they are certainly not the people I can open up my hearts to talk like friends anymore because they don't see things with an open and free minds...

I know my temper and I know I can get pretty agitated easily. I feel bad that I feel so agitated over these. Yet, I can't help to feel kinda disgusted at what I saw. God, please don't let my heart hold such grudges and being so revengeful too. It feels so childish and I want to change. Let me know too what I have done wrong here as I know I must have acted in an undesirable way to them that would cause them to react otherwise...haiz... *zipped up*