Confidence

Feeling a little disappointed with myself because of the result of the interview. I did not get any reply. But I guess I have thought through now...it is not as bad as I thought too anyway right? To look on the brightside, there are always other path to take if I really want to...and I still have those job offers from the mid-tier accounting firms too. In fact, I may be better off out of Big 4 as the pressure upon me will be less somehow too...hahaha...I am not keen on taking too much pressure. :P

But well no matter what, I guess I have somehow have a plan for me in my next few years too.

1. Get my CPA so I can be an independent auditor...and I know this is my Dad's dream for me since the day I took up the Accountancy course.
2. Get a car so I can drive my parents around, my mum especially, because I know she has been craving for a chaffeur for a very long time...haha...lol
3. And for me...I will find a year break when my job starts to stabilize and there won't be anymore debt for me and my parents. Then, I will be enrol for a year course at SOT.

These will be my plan, my goal for the next few years. Whether I can achieve them in the end is still a question mark...I will always have a budget for the unpredictable events to happen in my life right? *wink* ;) Hahaha...lol But then, it is always to have a goal to aim for, a dream to look forward to in life too I guess...or else there will seem to be no purpose for me to live on in my life. I don't have my own family now of coz...hahaha...so I guess there is nothing wrong for me to live a life for my parents on earth and my father in heaven ya? :) *trying to justify myself here...hahaha...lol*

Glad to know that I can still try again for the Big 4, or more likely I will try for KPMG only, in January after this round of recruitment. Hahaha...maybe I will have another go then? :) But wherever I go, I believe God has already planned where I go and He knows where is the best place to put me in. I will trust Him to place me elsewhere if Big 4 is not a place suitable for me. Who knows...maybe I will shine even brighter over there ya? :) Hahaha...yes I will always look on the positive side of it my Lord. And I realise, once again, pastor words rung in my head:

"What you act upon, you will reinforce it in your life."

This morning I have the homesick feeling all over me, and without thinking much I took a cab home. The place that I called "home" now seems so empty. Neat without all the mess around after I have tidied it up since mummy left. Mum didn't put her things all over the kitchen either...coz she is not around anyway. Ha. The home is less cozy without my parents around, less like home. But still, the feeling of coming home is juz so much more better than being stuck in the room in my hostel. I guess I am probably experiencing claustrophobia right now ba...haha...lol

Yup last lap to run before tomorrow morning's paper...and after that I will be FREE! :D Hahaha...going to get my digicam tomorrow from my internet seller...got it cheaper online at $500 for Nikon Coolpix s7c, which has a current market price of $699 right now...save me $199 overall! :D Guess I will be a bit addicted for online shopping for a while too as I notice there are a few pretty kimono dresses going at only $20 online. Hahaha...thinking of getting one of them so that I have something nice to wear this Xmas ya? :P Hahaha...maybe I need some shopping therapy too after all these exam stress...yeah tml will be the day! :D

I guess I am feeling weak and stressful over these few weeks. Yet I am glad it is finally coming to an end now. Tomorrow will have cgm and I hope there is another message that will renew my mind once again, to strengthen me in my spiritual and emotional growth. I need your guidance my Lord. And I wanna learn much more from You. Thank God for bringing me through this period. Thank God for having my friends around me to keep me strong. Love you my Father in heaven...love all of my friends too... *hugz* :)

Today, I just learn to be more confident of myself from David (Read 1 Samuel 30:1-20).

"Self-doubt is absolutely tormenting, and we must rid ourselves of it. Like David, we must learn to know our God -- about His love, His ways, and His Word -- then ultimately we must decide whether we believe or not. When we don't doubt ourselves but trust in God, He will give us the victory."

[taken from the book "Being The Person God Made You To Be" by Joyce Meyer]

So simply said:

"The way to end the torment of self-doubt is to look to God and have faith in His mighty power. "

Amen. :)

"David was greatly distressed, for the men spoke of stoning him because the souls of them all were bitterly grieved, each man for his sons and daughters. But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God." ~ 1 Samuel 30:6